25 May 2017

What makes you happy? 

A coworker and I were talking about happiness, and I told  her the things that would make me happy.
I said,

For my doctor to be pleased with the improvement of my Hga1c reading
For me to be married. I have a fantasy of my wife and I being awakened in the morning by our kids, wanting to say happy birthday or happy mother's day or happy father's day.
I also have a fantasy of coming home to my daughter wanting to show me what she learned in ballet class of school, or my son who reminded me that I promise to take him to the batting cage; things that others would consider mundane but would make me very happy.

She said that my happiness seems to be dependent upon other people, and that happiness is in inside job.

I've always been told that happiness is an inside job.  I guess. I don't know. That's what makes me happy.

I'm curious; what makes you happy?

Tha Liks - Best U Can

Keith Murray - Dangerous Ground (Feat. 50 Grand) (Prod. By The Ummah)

21 May 2017

What advice would you give your younger self?

  • Not to trust anyone, and to find things out for myself.
  • Ignore my high school guidance counselor and take calculus and trigonometry courses.
  • Buy Yahoo stock.
  • Ignore mean things I've overheard and have been told about myself that have affected my behavior and belief system to this day.
  • Don't be afraid to have an opinion.

19 May 2017


Mad props to my friends Aaron, Billal, and Farzahad for paying a subscription to my monthly cake service. Extra props to Aaron for coming up with the idea and being the first subscriber. Extra extra mad props to Billal who lives in Cairo Egypt and Farzahad who lives in Alkhobar Saudi Arabia. Billal and Farzahad don't even like sweets. They call it a subscription. I call it a donation.  Thanks!

Amendment- Thanks to my friend Karim for buying a subscription today. He lives in Paris

17 May 2017


Interesting, because  while I like being alone but I also hate it. I know it's contradictory. I was at a social event this evening, and the friend of mine that was there and didn't know anyone besides me and the host, had engaging conversations with multiple people at the party, and exchanging contact information, and though it was killing me that I wasn't making any connections, I didn't even try. I only chatted with the host and his wife. They spoke to me; I didn't have to come up with anything creative to say.  I was asked to arrive a couple hours early to help with the cooking ( I barbecued all the spare ribs and even baked a cake). I expected the spare ribs and the cake that everyone ate till it was gone, would have been a conversation piece, but it wasn't.    I'm  introverted  and don't want to be.


12 May 2017

Be like water

Be like water making its way through cracks. Do not be assertive, but adjust to the object, and you shall find a way around or through it. If nothing within you stays rigid, outward things will disclose themselves. Empty your mind, be formless. Shapeless, like water. If you put water into a cup, it becomes the cup. You put water into a bottle and it becomes the bottle. You put it in a teapot, it becomes the teapot. Now, water can flow or it can crash. Be water, my friend. --Bruce Lee

10 May 2017

Miles Davis - Bitches Brew (1970) - full album


a proverb

           Pleasant words are as an honeycomb, sweet to the soul, and health to the bones.
                            Proverbs 16 :24

           I loved words even when I was a little boy. I have to thank my speech pathologist, whom I saw from 1st grade through 12th grade. Because of the speech impediment I had, I hadly spoke to anyone, unless I had to. She saw in me, an interest in english and spelling.  She gave me my first books of poetry by Langston Hughes and Gwendolyn Brooks. She had lit that fire up under me.
          As a boy I represented Brooklyn in the New York State Spelling Bee, twice, and l lost both times. I can still remember the losing words. Pursue ( I spelled it persue) and Milieu (i spelled it millieu). Imagine having won the Brooklyn spelling bees with the words Phenolphthalein and Hexachlorophene and losing the New York State Spelling Bee with less difficult words. I guess I was too confident, a bit too complacent.
                 Just because something seems small doesn't mean it doesn't have the same power or ability or value of something large.

08 May 2017

France: Macron gives victory speech in Paris after winning French elections

I'm very happy France rejected the politics of divisiveness, hatred and fear. They saw what tRump was doing to America and they didn't want Marine Le Pen to do the same to them.


Sometimes you have to become the monster that came to eat you.

07 May 2017


Here I am again asking questions,
Waiting to be moved.
I am so unsure of my perception,
What I thought I knew I don't seem to
Where is the turn so I can get back to what I believe in?
Back to the old me and

God, please hear my call.
I am afraid for me.
Love has burned me raw
I need your healing
Please, please, please.

[Verse 2]
I am such a fool
How did I get here?
Played by all the rules
Then they changed
I am but a child to your vision
Standing in the cold and the rain
Lost here in the dark
I can't see my foot to take a step,
What is happening?
Oh, this hurts so bad. I can hardly breathe.
I just want to leave so...

God, please hear my call.
I am afraid for me.
Love has burned me raw
I need your healing
God, please hear my call.
I am afraid for me.
Love has burned me raw
I need your healing
Please, please, oh, please, please.

God please hear my call.
I am afraid.
Love has turned me cold,
I need your healing.
Please, please, please, please, please, please