29 September 2013

A poem about some oregonians

some oregonians think they're cool
they don't eat wheat products
or products from animals that shit or piss
they drink their water with a lemon slice
they even know the name of the chicken they cook
they remember
sir mix a lot
boys 2 men
bell biv devoe
george clinton
                          at every party
                          they play a couple Motown tunes just  for me
                          singing in unison
                          like that's suppose to suffice
                          as they return to alternative rock or folk music for the rest of the night,
and some might have a Jimi Hendrix or Bob Marley t shirt on
and probably don't have a single song of theirs in their collection
except maybe one love
they may as well say
let's just say we do
because  they don't or won't initiate any form of communication unless they need a cake.
for free.
some want you to be their only black friend
just so they can say wassup nigga to someone who is black
and be surprised that it's taken offensively
they want to tell people they have a black friend
until they realize their friends could care less about black people
and they kick you to the curb
when you're deemed unnecessary
smiling in your face not really wanting to take your place.
not all,
but some oregonians think they're cool.
they're not.

Question of the Day

If God were to ask you why He should let you into Heaven, what would you say?

 First of all, thank You for loving me so much that you sacrificed your son Jesus on the cross so that might have life and have  it abundantly. I don't deserve Your love but I am grateful. I've done some things I'm not proud of, and by asking for forgiveness from You, I know that I am automatically forgiven. Thank you.  I'm hoping that You allow me into heaven because I have lived my life according to Your word. I owe you my life. I can thank you all day every day but it will still not be enough for all You have done for me. My back has been against the wall a few times, and proving that You're God, you have performed miracles. You have blessed me in ways that defy logic, and they were always at the 11th hour. You have had my back 100% of the time. I love you, and I hope that one day, You will be able to say to me, 'well done, my good and faithful servant.'     What a day of rejoicing that will be!

25 September 2013

The Little Mosque

I was intrigued by this show because it is a muslim show that's seen all over the world, everywhere except for The U.S.
I like the show.  My DVR records about 5 episodes a day and I see them all

It's on Netflix....I tried to attach a clip of the show from Youtube but I got this error message:

This video contains content from WestWindPictures, who has blocked it in your country on copyright grounds.

24 September 2013


I think it's funny how people who treat you like shit get offended when you finally do the same to them.

23 September 2013

Know this

The combination of your natural talent and learned skills with God's coordinated timing and placement allows you to successfully do what you are meant to do today, easily influencing others.

22 September 2013

What I want to do

 cut the bullshit and stop caring what people think about stupid things. I want to be there for people that matter to me. And for people to whom I matter.


The hardest thing for most people to do is to look inward.

21 September 2013

The time is today

there comes  a time when you have to stop crossing oceans for people who wouldn't even jump puddles for you.

17 September 2013

48 hours ago

History was made at the Miss America pageant
For the first time since Vanessa Williams and Suzette Charles were the last two finalists standing (2 African Americans) Nina Davuluri and Crystal Lee were the last two finalists standing as well-this time, 2 Asian Americans. All the white women were rejected.  Like how when President Obama was elected and then re-elected, the racist white folks were not having it.
News agencies cited tweets which misidentified her as Muslim or Arab and associated her with terrorist groups such as Al Qaeda, the say way they accuse the President of being a muslim terrorist.
She's of Indian descent. Born and raised in the United States.
She was my choice from the beginning. This woman is no dummy-she attended the University of Michigan  and has won several scholastic honors including the Dean's List, Michigan Merit Award, and National Honor Society Award. 
 She graduated with a degree in Brain Behavior and Cognitive Science.
Something else she has in common with Vanessa Williams- she was the second Miss Syracuse to win the competition after Vanessa Williams in 1983

Kick Fear out

11 September 2013

Song in my head


      This woman I met on the train  this morning talked a lot about herself; so much so that my contribution to thirty minutes of  the conversation was an occasional laugh, followed by a few, uhhuhs, and that's funny. I couldn't get 3 consecutive words in.  Her breath reaked of marijuana but she was so beautiful to look at so I obliged. One thing caught my ear that had me thinking, even after she decided to show me pics of her 5 sons from 5 different fathers (the oldest of her kids is 7),and even after telling me that her new boyfriend wants her to give the kids to their respective dads , and that she got fired from her job for stealing, and after telling me her dream is to have twins : She said "I'm working on being the type of person I want to be around."
Oh, really?

10 September 2013

The Random 25 (well, more than 25)

  • In my garage I have about 10 huge boxes filled with books.

  • For each book I have about 50 cds

  • For every cd I have about 5 vinyl albums

  • I bake about 5-10 cakes a week

  • When I was 7, my mom prevented me and my first best friend from being friends when his family converted to Islam. I’m sure that’s what drove me to wondering what it was about the religion that my mom was so afraid of.

  • I’m afraid of bats and snakes, but my worst fear is that I will die without being romantically loved again

  • Though I am a Christian, I have a prayer mat from Iran that I use daily

  • I will not see  or hear anything that has Justin Timberlake in it.

  • My favorite Tv show is actually a Muslim Sit-Com from Canada called Little Mosque

  • I can name the 50 States in alphabetical order in less than a minute

  • I am ambidextrous

  • I won a couple karaoke contests because a friend was being competitive. I beat him twice, and I never heard from him again.

  • My mom and sister have had food poisoning and I had eaten the same food at the same time and I never had food poisoning, ever.

  • My drunk father once laced the inside of the house with turpentine, threatened to light a match with me and my sister inside, but fell asleep before doing so (thank you God for making him sleepy). I called my mom, who was on the other side of Brooklyn, working, and she got home in time to see he was asleep.  I was 8 and my sister was 5

  • As far back as I can recall, I have never had the flu

  •  The ironing board I use is the same one my grandfather used to iron my mom's dresses when she was a little girl.

  •  All my toiletries (soaps, shaving creams, shampoos) I order from Paris

  •  I can’t drink chocolate milk (long, sad story).

  • My grandfather made me cook Thanksgiving dinner all by myself when I was 12. Everyone loved everything I made

  •  In a crowded social setting where I know no one, I seek out the darker-skinned women first, then others

  •  About 8 yrs ago  I walked out on a date because she believed that Ontario is one of the 50 United States at the time, and was serious.

  •  Salli Richardson-Whitfield, Halle Berry, and Maya Angelou figure prominently in the dreams that I remember.

  •  Very few people can pronounce my name correctly so I just let them get away with calling me Alex, as long as they spell it Alieux

  •  I had a severe stuttering problem up until I was a high school senior

  •  I’m a fan of Asian, Persian and Arabic culture

  •  I used to think I was the reincarnation of  ee cummings

  •  I love my job more than any job I’ve ever had, but I hate Oregon more than any place I’ve ever lived.

  •  I tried to be hypnotized the summer before I left for college because I wanted to be less shy and more sociable, but when the hypnotist thought she had me under her spell, all I kept thinking about was that I was going to put  a stop payment on the check I had to give her before the session.

  •  I love anything designed by Alexander McQueen.

  • My favorite movie is a chick-flick.

  • The coffee I make at home, I have it imported from Turkey

  • About 10 yrs ago, my sister, afraid I would use the money to buy nothing  but music, took me out of her will

It took a while

But I'm learning to make my own happiness a priority. For the average person happiness is a choice, yet so many of us are unhappy all the time.  There are many reasons, but it all boils down to one simple principle:  We often choose something else over happiness.  Because it often takes less effort to be unhappy.  For example, instead of seeking happiness we lazily follow the path of least resistance, we refuse to accept change, we aimlessly try to control the uncontrollable, and so on and so forth.  Averting these poor choices and the negative attitudes that accompany them is the first step.
The second step is injecting meaning into your day-to-day life.  Franklin D. Roosevelt once said, “Happiness is not in the mere possession of money; it lies in the joy of achievement, in the thrill of creative effort.”  To find true happiness in life you have to follow your heart and intuition.  You have to be who you are, and design a lifestyle and career that fulfills you – no matter what that entails or what people say about it.  And it is never too late to do so.
Sure you have responsibilities.  And no, you won’t be able to do what you want to do every waking minute of your life.  But you almost always have a choice to do more of what you really want to do – to work on something that matters to you – something that moves you and gives your life meaning.
Bottom line:  Life isn’t about pleasing everyone; I've spent a lifetime meeting others needs at the expense of my own needs being met.   Not anymore.



Now That You're Back

You have left me






I faced the music


I listened

for the first time

to the lyrics

that hit so close to home

and inspired


made me smile


made me laugh


made me aware

that there is life

after you

as there was

before you.

now you are back with your confident smile


                                                                     ----but I have my own now.

Thank You.
---Alieux Casey

"I must not fear.
Fear is the mind-killer.
Fear is the little-death that brings total obliteration.
I will face my fear.
I will permit it to pass over me and through me.
And when it has gone past I will turn the inner eye to see its path.
Where the fear has gone there will be nothing.
Only I will remain."

 ~Bene Gesserit litany against fear (Dune)

What would you attempt to do if you knew you couldn't fail?

Personally, I would quit my job and cook and bake and write all day.
What would you do?

08 September 2013

Not Anymore


       I have insecurities, of course, but I don’t hang out with anyone who points them out to me.

Note to self


        Never hold onto anything tighter than you're holding onto God.

04 September 2013

Song in my head



I woke up about 20 minutes ago. I never wake up in the middle of the night unless I'm anxious about something, like before my birthday trip to Paris last November, when within two weeks of the trip, I hardly slept 4 hours a night. I've nothing to be anxious about now though.. I don't have any upcoming trips

I wasn't  in the mood to bake so I decided to get one of my novellas to edit, but I wasn't in the mood to do that either. And then some 'friends' came to mind. I used to use the term loosely like everyone else, but through experience, despite the fact that I know hundreds of people, Only 4 I can truly consider my friends. Those are people who have proven to be my friends.  

 I wish there was a name for the category of friend between those who have braved blizzard conditions  to pick me up  when my car  slid into a ditch and needed to be towed and triple AAA towed the car to a repair shop a mile away from my place  in Washington Dc but wouldn't drive me home/ and the friend who left me stranded outside the Greyhound Bus Terminal in Chicago after they closed for the night in the middle of February-because she decided at the last minute that she was tired from work and wasn't up for company despite my begging to let me sleep on the sofa because I didn't bring hotel money and she called a week later to ask me to help her move back to Madison and then my girlfriend at the time cussed her out for leaving me stranded and I never heard from that friend again.

I watched this parody on the youtube channel (Got 2B real)- reunion special and Patti Labelle said of Aretha Franklin, 

"No, we're not friends. We're just familiar."

That's an appropriate definition.  Familiar.

Anyway, after writing the following, I decided to attempt to try to go  back to sleep:
You’re not always around the people you need to be around. God will provide an inner-awareness to help you get away from them. Or to help them get away from you if you don't see the signs.

03 September 2013