20 May 2013

None of your business

I have a friend at my former job in Milwaukee Wisconsin named Alex. I envy him. I know nothing about him except: when he started working at the insurance company he was taking a break from law school, that he's Nigerian, that he likes reggae, that he has a twin sister, that his family moved to Milwaukee when he was fifteen, that his father is a cabdriver and his mother is a nurse. Other than that I know nothing. At first I thought he was just being standoffish, but he was cool with me. We were on the same work schedule and I was his mentor. We'd talk (vent) about work, and that was it. I do know that he dated a woman on the 4th floor. I’d see them together on the weekends out at club or restaurant or the mall, holding hands. I never felt he was hiding anything. He just felt that his business was his business. He was always on a need- to- know basis.

I remember when she was pregnant. She told me about it. She was so happy. They had twin boys. Through the months I observed her stomach getting bigger and bigger. He never talked to me about it. My coworkers were frustrated because they couldn’t get any intel on him. Anything they knew about him came from lies and assumptions that had to be made up since they didn’t know the truth. I don’t know why some people find it necessary to know everything there is to know about everyone they know.

I envy him.

No one knew his business. He controlled what people knew. Too many times I've confided in people and regretted it. Too many times I've opened myself up to people, to hear it being repeated to me by that person, or people I don't even know or like. And once you let something out, it's impossible to bottle it up.

I envy him.

If it wasn't for Linkedin, I wouldn't even know that he completed law school and works at a law firm in Milwaukee Wisconsin. I knew he still lived there because we have texted each other from time to time. He just felt that his business was his business. I have always known everything there was to know about my coworkers, most things I wish I never knew.

From now on I aspire to be like Alex.

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