31 August 2010

listening to..rachel ferrell & will downing

Question of the day

You get on an elevator  and you push the button for your desired floor and two people, a male and a female, run to get in the elevator before the doors close.  You're standing nearest the buttons. The  woman, smiling, says:

"Sir, can you push 3 for me, please?"   
I smile back and say "Sure," and I pushed 3. She says "thank you".

The man looks at me and says:


How did I respond? Did I respond?  And how would you have responded?

Listening to...Aretha

30 August 2010

Before the BET Awards, I've never heard of-- Esperanza Spalding

but along with Janell Monae, Alicia Keys, and Patti Labelle, she was personally chosen by Prince to perform in BET's Tribute to him. I figured she must be talented. She is-- AND, she was born and raised in Portland Oregon

The sound quality isn't great on this one, but this is the only rendition of her If I Was Your Girlfriend that I could find on youtube; just turn up the volume

Jacob & Rachel

I googled "Bible verses about love" and this was the first one I found:

And Jacob served seven years for Rachel; and they seemed unto him but a few days, for the love he had to her.
 Genesis 29:20 kjv

In this story, Jacob falls in love with Rachel, Laban’s younger daughter, and arranges to marry her.  As payment to his uncle, he agrees to work for him for seven years in order to marry Rachel.  And Jacob clearly loved Rachel very much.

I couldn't pass it by without posting it. It made me smile.
Love makes me smile.

Is there/has there been someone in your life for whom you would work 7 years?  Would they do the same for you, if they had to?

29 August 2010

Porgi, amor, qualche ristoro,         O Love, give me some remedy
Al mio duolo, a'miei sospir!            For my sorrow, for my sighs!
A friend was telling me about the cast production of Mozart’s “Le Nozze di Figaro” at the 
Chicago Symphony back in March of this year. My best friend and most recent ex, both had 
turned me on to going to operas. Wish I had been there.

The Truth

28 August 2010

what about?

"I looked him straight in the eyes and said,
What about the times you lied to me

What about the times you said no one would want me
What about all the shit you've done to me
What about that
What about that
What about the times you yelled at me
What about the times I cried
You wouldn't even hold me
What about those things
What about that
What about that ?"

27 August 2010

.So they say.

song in my head- Older

Flash Back Fridays- the Gap Band & Zapp & Roger Troutman

too much of a good thing

Paracelsus, a physician of the 16th century, sometimes called the father of toxicology, wrote:
"All things are poison and nothing is without poison, only the dose permits something not to be poisonous."
That is to say, substances considered toxic are harmless in small doses, and conversely an ordinarily harmless substance can be deadly if over-consumed. Even water can be deadly if over-consumed.--courtesy wikipedia.org
I have always believed that most things are ok if taken in moderation.  For example, my weakness is sweets (which is kind of ironic, since besides writing, my hobby is baking).  I'm on a self-imposed strict diet to lose some pounds. I removed sweets from my diet; I went cold turkey. Thinking my doctor would be happy, he informed me not to stay away from something I loved. He said that I can eat small amounts in moderation. He said that I'm actually doing my body more harm then good when I refuse a guilty pleasure. For some people, it might be alcohol, or cigarettes, or even weed.
So, I'm back to eating sweets, but only small amounts of it.
I can't think of any good thing that I can have too much of, except money.  Yeah, I 'm even surprised that I wrote that. I still do fantasize having won Powerball. I even have plans for what to do with my millions, but I wouldn't be able to trust that the people that came into my life after I won the money,  cared about me or the money. It's easy to determine if the people with whom I had a history cared about me, based on how they would presently be treating me or how they treated me in the past, but someone in the future?
When Aristotle Onassis died , he made his granddaughter Athina Onassis Roussel, his sole heir. Upon his death she was automatically worth an estimated US $600 million, or $800 million, or even as much as nearly $2 billion (no one is sure), and she was only 3 years old. I can't even imagine what her life must have been like as a child. Having been raised by nannies, butlers, and relatives, who could she trust to love her genuinely? I wouldn't turn down maybe $250 million though, but that is too much money or too much of a good thing.

The only thing that I can never have too much of, is love.

And clothes.
And short story ideas.
And free airline tickets.
And compliments.
And connections to publishing success.
And air.
And hugs.

How about you? What are your guilty pleasures? What can you not have too much of?

26 August 2010

The present is a rope stretched over the past. The secret to walking it is, you never look down.

--Sean Stewart, Perfect Circle, 2004

Mistake # 1,017

i did it again.
i put my heart out there.
it didn't get that far.

instead of admiring from the distance-
i temporarily removed self-doubt
i put my hopes out there
climbing out from underneath starving talk
i made the approach
and liking the response,
i saw the potential of something perhaps occurring
somewhere down the road:

a romance.

but via email,
i'm told she was headed in the opposite direction.
the self-doubt has returned.

but the heart is still in tact.

(    on to the next one.


23 August 2010

In music

---So I got in my car and headed to work. I had a lot on my mind, and with the drive being about 30 minutes, it gave me enough time to worry about things and to get my mood right for working on a Monday morning. Then I turned on the radio to listen to NPR, and then the announcer said “We’re in the middle of a Miles Davis and John Coltrane marathon for your morning ride.“  Miles Davis and John Coltrane are my all-time favorite musicians. And the first song I heard was So What.

And when I realized I was pulling up in the parking lot at my job I wondered why I didn’t remember the drive there.

Getting lost can be a good thing...

La Vie

   this is a repost                                      
 In Greek mythology as a punishment from the gods for his trickery, Sisyphus (pronounced /ˈsɪsəfəs/; Greek: Σίσυφος sísypʰos [ˈsisifos]  ( listen)) was made to roll a huge rock up a steep hill, but before he could reach the top of the hill, the rock would always roll back down, forcing him to begin again. The maddening nature of the punishment was reserved for Sisyphus due to his hubristic belief that his cleverness surpassed that of Zeus. Sisyphus took the bold step of reporting one of Zeus' sexual conquests, telling the river god Asopus of the whereabouts of his daughter Aegina. Zeus had taken her away, but regardless of the impropriety of Zeus' frequent conquests, Sisyphus overstepped his bounds by considering himself a peer of the gods who could rightfully report their indiscretions. As a result, Zeus displayed his own cleverness by binding Sisyphus to an eternity of frustration. 

The word sisyphean means, according to the American Heritage Dictionary, "endless and unavailing, as labor or a task."
--courtesy, wikipedia.org

 I saw the pic initially, and just thought that it represented life. Life is like this, sometimes. more often than not for some.

19 August 2010

Jack Kerouac

                     "I hope you get where you're going, and be happy when you do."

                                  —On The Road by Jack Kerouac

Listening to Blackstreet featuring Janet, and Janet featuring Blackstreet

I saw this

on someone's myspace page, and I couldn't pass it by without showing my appreciation for it and putting it on my blog. I saw this and immediately thought about two of the strongest-willed people I know;   my mother and my sister, both of whom are the mothers, fathers, chauffeurs, nurses, cooks, cleaners, etc., of their household. Where would I be without my mother having to fill all those roles by herself? I don't know.  Where would my nephew be without my sister?  I can't even imagine.  --


"The individual has always had to struggle to keep from being overwhelmed by the tribe. If you try it, you will be lonely often, and sometimes frightened. But no price is too high to pay for the privilege of owning yourself."

— Friedrich Wilhelm Nietzsche

17 August 2010

Still I Rise

listening to ...Tweet

all me


               "I'm not beautiful like you. I'm beautiful like me."

Where u belong

Not knowing where to go, you got in your car and drove until the sun came up. Past rivers and bridges with out a thought until you stopped, looked around and saw that no one there knew you, no one there would hold your hand. Then you turned around.

The Distance

Scar Tissue

Good afternoon

The bridge is love

"But soon we shall die and all memory of us will have left earth, and we ourselves shall be loved for a while and forgotten. But the love will have been enough; all those impulses of love return to the love that made them. Even memory is not necessary for love. There is a land of the living and a land of the dead and the bridge is love, the only survival, the only meaning."

the novel The Bridge of San Luis Rey by Thornton Wilder
Whether we seek love or not , we are always at the mercy of it’s mysterious rhythm.

16 August 2010

"From success you get a lot of things, but not that great inside thing that love brings you."
                                                  -- Samuel Goldwyn

--some Jill Scott for the drive home

My love is deeper
Didn't you know this,
Or didn't you notice?

When I'm not looking

My grandfather separated from my grandmother when my mother was 8. My mother chose to live with him. In that same year, he got in a car accident and bumped into the woman with whom he would spend the rest of his life (he passed away in 1999).

A few of my closest friends I have met through other friends that were not so close.

I wonder if that’s how I will meet my soulmate? By accident?

lets talk about/think about beautiful things for a change

In addition to God,
If there’s one thing I love, it’s my mom.
If there’s one thing I love, it’s my entire family.
If there’s one thing I love, it’s my biological mother, even if I don't know who she is
If there’s one thing I love, it’s my biological siblings, even if I don't know who they are.
If there’s one thing I love, it’s my father, even though he didn't love me.
If there’s one thing I love, it’s my God Daughter and her entire family
If there’s one thing I love,it’s my God son and his entire family
If there’s one thing I love, it’s my best friend and his family
If there’s one thing I love, it’s poetry.
If there’s one thing I love,it’s cooking and baking for family and friends
If there’s one thing I love, it’s that God blessed me with a vehicle the weekend before my job moved to the other side of town
If there’s one thing I love, it’s when people can’t believe I’m over 35
If there’s one thing I love, it’s when people will let me in front of them in the grocery line if I have a handful of items.
If there’s one thing I love, it’s when I bring a cake to work or parties and people can’t believe I baked it
If there’s one thing I love, it’s when a friend hired me to make her wedding cake.
If there’s one thing I love, it’s when a friend asked me to write a poem to be read at her wedding
If there’s one thing I love, it’s having a job that I love
If there’s one thing I love, it’s The Boondocks
If there’s one thing I love, it’s sarcasm
If there’s one thing I love, it’s when a guy cut me off in a jaguar this morning and raced down the street and was stopped by the cops at the next block for speeding.
If there’s one thing I love, it’s when people are lying to me and they don’t know that I know they’re lying.
If there’s one thing I love, it’s when I find a 20-dollar bill in my gym bag
If there’s one thing I love, it’s when my accent becomes a conversation peace (people always ask what Caribbean Island I am from)
If there’s one thing I love, it’s when kids ask me what football team I play for.
If there’s one thing I love, it’s when my nephew waits at the curb in the morning on the day I'm flying in to Madison Wisconsin.
If there’s one thing I love, it’s that I don't live in the midwest anymore.
If there’s one thing I love, it’s when my closest friends and family realize tomorrow isn't promised to us and they understand why I say i love you, at the end of every call.
If there’s one thing I love, it’s seeing a mother, father, and kids, playing, laughing and smiling.
If there’s one thing I love, it’s feeling my grandfather's presence when I'm cooking. He spent every waking moment in the kitchen and that was our bonding time. He even died in the kitchen cooking, doing what he loved.
If there’s one thing I love, it’s finding that though rush card  has a $1.00 fee for every debit transaction, they credit it back my account each month, and they deposited $75 in my account over the weekend, the day before my rent is due. I was $10 short, and now I'm $65 ahead.
If there’s one thing I love, it’s that God is good.
If there’s one thing I love, it’s when I can go a 24 hour period without eating anything sweet
If there’s one thing I love, it’s when an attractive woman that I don't know smiles at me and says hi
If there’s one thing I love, it’s that I get to live during a time when a black man is president of the United States
If there’s one thing I love, it’s the idea of love itself

Happy Birthday, Angela Bassett

                                   Actress Angela Bassett and her beautiful family pose for a photo

some Donald Lawrence to start the work week

 " I could have lost my mind
wanted to give up so many times,
But God was my anchor,
a consistent way-maker,
God covered me..."

short & concise


This was on a car bumper I saw on the way to work this morning. Short, and to the point.

14 August 2010

& some Madhouse for my hot sunny saturday afternoon drive into the city.... 6.... and 10

listening to: Prince

Banned Boondocks Clip Vs BET


Happy Birthday, Halle Berry!

Like I always say... Halle- lujah!

I'm going to be at the newstands on August 24 to get this issue of Vogue!

"I'm not done with love, but I refuse to settle. I am a hopeless romantic. And I won't stop till I get it right."

Pick me pick me!!  

Tell me something good - 8/13/10

Recently I’ve been more aware of miracles occurring almost at the very last minute, than ever before, in my life. And so, when new issues arrive in an attempt to weigh me down, knowing that I have prayed  that God finds favor with me, and remembering how past issues have been resolved, and when they have been resolved, I still stand tall. And instead of worrying, I'm smiling.

13 August 2010

remember this?

TGIF, by the way!! ...............Some Wendy & Lisa for the afternoon

there is poetry

in your movement:
the fluidity
there is creative
the way your hands your body caress the air
I watch your lips
your lips
either still
or moving,
the corners curving upwards
or straight across
making my hands my lips jealous
are you even speaking?
I can t hear you
Because I’m stuck on your lips
your hips/
how they move so unintentionally
strong but feminine
As if no one was watching
Is this what bliss feels like?
The beginnings of love
Of what is around the corner?
I hope
The road I’m on
Is the same road you’re on.

There is poetry.
Your words are matching mine
How did you know what I was feeling?

Your kiss is like poetry
Match the words my lips are forming-
Can u?
Pressed against yours
L o v e .
I pray
That the road I’m on
Is the same road you’re on.


Flashback Friday- Diana Ross & Rick James featuring Smokey Robinson

12 August 2010

stop the love u save

There are those among us who are blessed with the power to save what is loved by another, but are powerless to use this blessing for love themselves.


The only place you'll find the perfect person, the perfect family or a perfect life is in television commercials for butter.

--  alexgeorge

Song in my head this afternoon

I know you're down;
when you're gonna get up?
                                     “Fear of failure must never be a reason not to try something.”
                      --Frederick Smith

                                                    I just have 3 words to say;
                                                    David and Goliath.
To be a poet is a condition, not a profession. ~Robert Frost

Song in my head this morning

For we are HIS workmanship, created in Christ Jesus for good works, which God prepared before hand that we should walk in them. Ephesians 2:10

The Knowledge

11 August 2010

and there you were

in my search for someone to complete me
(i prayed for you
) & in my search for that missing piece
         to the puzzle that was my life
( i prayed for you
)  beyond laughter
             on the outside looking in
             and watching friends take for granted
             what I hold so precious
(i prayed for you
)       I am asked for advice
            what to do to fix a relationship
            what to do to maintain one
            or attain one,
            and being shown gratitude for telling and doing the right things
(i was alone, and i prayed for you
        i needed substance, and
(i prayed for you
)       not knowing that you would appear
        before me
        looking at me
        as if I were the answer to your prayers
                as well
        as you were/are to mine:
        in my search for
        someone to step up to the plate
        to, at the very least, not show indifference
        towards me
        and to care enough to want to fight for me
        though I am opposed to violence
(i prayed for you
)       & there you were,
        with someone else.
        I knew I had to fight to get you.

        I wonder why it took so long to find you?
        Was God waiting for a time in my life
        When I would appreciate you more?
        He was right.

I prayed and I prayed and I prayed and I prayed and I prayed and I prayed and I prayed  and I prayed and I prayed and I prayed and I prayed and I prayed and
prayed and I prayed and I prayed and I prayed and I
prayed and I prayed  and I prayed and I prayed and I prayed and I prayed and I prayed and--
here you are
(Thank You) 

I remember when my ex referred to me (to her friends) as her boyfriend. I was wondering when our relationship would become official- I was afraid she would think I was rushing it after a month of daily lunches, dinners, daily workout sessions, consecutive evening sessions, so I had the biggest smile on my face, when she said what she had said.   Anyway, earlier that day, she called me and said she was having a bad day, and she asked if I could write her a poem.  The above was what I had written within that next hour, and I drove to her job and gave it to her.  Then she said it was time I met her friends.

I still appreciate her.

Oh well... 


listening to...Amos Lee

Listening to ...Bilal

Listening to: Alexander O'Neal

Overheard on the train this morning

Older white woman, maybe in her 60s, looking at baby in a stroller: what a cute baby!

Black woman, maybe in her early 20’s, just getting on at Lloyd Center Stop: thanks.

Older woman: you must be the nanny

Black woman: why do I have to be the nanny?

Older woman: are you?

Black woman: No, I aint no damn nanny. This is my son.

Older woman: but you’re dark-skinned, and the baby is, well—

Black woman: --what? He’s light? What you trying to say?

Older woman: oh, I see a wedding ring. You’re married, that’s good. Is he white?

Black woman: yes. you got a problem with that, b***h?

The older woman shakes her head: well, at least you're married.

Black woman: and if i wasn't?

Silence for a minute.

Black woman: that 's what I thought.

Silence for the rest of my ride.

08 August 2010

Loving me some ...Alicia Keys

from today's sermon

Fret not thyself because of evildoers, neither be thou envious against the workers of iniquity.
 For they shall soon be cut down like the grass, and wither as the green herb.   --Psalms 37: 1-2

(there's someone in my life, in particular,  for whom I need to remember this verse, on a daily basis).

                                      It's easier to build strong children than to repair broken men.
                                     --Frederick Douglas
most non-black people tell me, after having known me for a while, that before they met me and they would see me in passing, that I " always looked like  I was on my way to beat someone's ass, but I'm a pretty cool funny guy."
i have been in situations where I have been scared.
this look has helped me more often than not.

A History of Love

Take a chance. Love. Have your heart broken. Repeat.
Take a chance. Love. Have your heart broken. Repeat.
Take a chance. Love. Be dumped because of a misunderstanding. Repeat.
Take a chance. Love. Walk in on her in bed with one of your friends. Repeat.
Take a chance. Love. Find out she’s still in love with her ex who used to beat her ass regularly. Repeat.
Take a chance. Love. Find out she’s the one who stole your credit cards and ran up huge bills. Repeat.
Take a chance. Love. Find out she’s now a Muslim and she can’t marry you. Repeat.
Take a chance. Love. Find out her gay best friend is actually a straight guy she’s having sex with when you’re not around. Repeat.
Take a chance. Love. Find out there’s a warrant for her arrest. Repeat.
Take a chance. Love. Find out she’s married.  Repeat.
Take a chance. Love.  Find out that every one of your friends have had her before you. Repeat.
Take a chance. Love. Have your heart broken. Repeat.
Take a chance. Love. Have your heart broken. Repeat.
Take a chance.
Stand up
Get up

and one day,
one day...
one day...
one day...
one day... 
one day...
one day...
one day...
one day... 


                             and be loved in return.


06 August 2010

songs in my head this afternoon

Tell me something good

Things like:

  • "You do that really well."
  • "May I pray for you right now?"
  • "How are you . . . really?"
  • "What you said (or did) helped me."
  • "I was wrong."
  • "Thanks for leading/serving."
  • "Have I offended you."
  • "I appreciate the way you (fill in the blank)."
  • "What can I do to help?"
  • "Tell me about your day job, kids . . . "
  • "Please forgive me."
  • "I still love you."
  • "God is big enough to (again fill in the blank)."
  • "I'm proud of you."
  • "You're really growing, and in a good way."
  • "Please come over for dinner."
  • "I missed you."
  • "I'm so happy for you."
  • "I prayed for you today."
  • "That must be very difficult."
  • "I'll be glad to!"
  • "I forgive you."
  • "I really love you."

Even if you don't feel like saying it. It's so nice to hear.
I promise to do the same.

Time for a verse?

The eyes of the LORD are upon the righteous, and his ears are open unto their cry.
                                                                                   Psalm 34:15

Flashback Friday- PRINCE, The Time, and Ingrid Chavez

Love is the only way


Have you had your plus sign today?

Flash Back Friday-T S Monk & Raydio

the saddest thing

i was at  mcdonalds, at the counter yesterday morning, ready to place my order when I felt my dress pants being tugged or pulled at gently, at the thigh. I looked down to see this little boy who needed to get my attention.  He was perhaps 3 or 4 years old, and wearing an Oregon Ducks t shirt and jeans. Light complexioned, he had  freckles, sandy blonde curly hair and green eyes.  I guessed that he was mixed. And he looked as if God had given him the best present of all.  I looked behind me and saw a white, blonde green-eyed woman, perhaps in her early 30s, who had grabbed him after he spoke to me, saying:

                                "Daddy? Are you my daddy?"
 My heart was breaking.
As I smiled at the boy, I told him, "no I'm not. I'm sorry."
His mother said :   "I'm sorry sir. My son's dad  hasn't been in his life or my own since I was pregnant with him. I've showed him pictures of his dad . He's thick, and clean-shaven like you. Every time he sees a black man that fits that description,  he thinks it might be his daddy."

That was the saddest thing I've heard all week.

05 August 2010

Maryland Police- no cameras please

If the pen is mightier than the sword, then the camera is mightier than the gun. This is particularly true when it comes to citizens recording their encounters with police. Time just ran a story involving Anthony Graber, a Maryland Air National Guard staff sergeant, facing 16 years in prison. His crime? He videotaped his March encounter with a state trooper who pulled him over for speeding on motorcycle. Then Graber put the video--which could put the officer in a bad light, up on You Tube :

 Some states are trying to make it a crime to record police officers on grounds of wiretapping, which essentially makes it a crime to record someone’s conversation without their consent. After the Oscar Grant debacle and others like it, “cameras have become the most effective weapon that ordinary people have to protect against and to expose police abuse. And the police want it to stop." The logic of disallowing recordings of police is indefensible. When cops have cameras mounted on their cars, they're not consenting with the person being pulled over. If I drive and a speed camera snaps me for speeding, I don’t consent to that but it keeps me honest. The larger issue is that cameras keep everyone honest. No matter how advanced the technology, sunlight is always the best disinfectant.
The problem I have is that police that do their job the right way shouldn’t fear any citizen recording their activity. Unless anyone underestimate this issue, imagine your loved a victim of police abusing their authority and your ability to raise awareness or develop your case would be with or without a videotape of said incident.
I wish I had a camcorder a few years ago when I got off the wrong bus about 10 years ago in Santa MoniKKKA.  That's another blog entry for another time.


Listening to...Me'shell Ngedeocello

a kindness

"A word fitly spoken is like apples of gold in pictures of silver." ~Proverbs 25:11

There are words that have been said that you may not remember or realize, but might have affected people in positive ways for the rest of their life.

There have been negative words as well, but those I choose to forget. I only attach my self to the good ones

Flashback Thursday- Brass Construction & Tom Browne

04 August 2010

About love

He felt now that he was not simply close to her, but that he did not know where he ended and she began.  ~Leo Tolstoy

It is so obvious that The President and The First Lady are in love. The chemistry between the two are always smoldering. 

I love seeing  people in love

Happy Birthday, President Obama!

Listening to...

"I close my eyes and... Kept on pushing,

I just stopped looking and guess who showed up.

My friend won't let you down, He's always been around.
That's one thing I know for sure. Even when I'm wrong,
He's right at my door.
He'll never ignore."