31 July 2010

long story short

Some people have attitudes and egos that scrape the sky
But we’ll all be judged by the same parameters when we die;
My guess is that we’ll be asked
Did we love and show compassion even for our enemies?
Did we treat everyone with respect and dignity?
Did we feed someone who was hungry?
Did we come to a friend’s aid even when it wasn’t convenient for us?
Did we share with someone in need?
Did we forgive those who trespassed against us?

There will probably be more questions.
I want to be able to say yes to all of them.

30 July 2010

“This is my wish for you: Comfort on difficult days, smiles when sadness intrudes, rainbows to follow the clouds, laughter to kiss your lips, sunsets to warm your heart, hugs when spirits sag, beauty for your eyes to see, friendships to brighten your being, faith so that you can believe, confidence for when you doubt, courage to know yourself, patience to accept the truth, Love to complete your life.”   --author unknown

Flash Back Friday-Mary J Blige & Tevin Campbell

29 July 2010

My sister used to play this particular song on my cassette player until the cassette broke. Then I had to fix the cassette tape because my mom was tired of the song and hoped to never hear it again and she refused to buy another, but she did get to hear it again, everyday, for a while because I fixed it...

an old break up song

Another flash back friday- Lauryn Hill & Jesse Johnson

28 July 2010

Renew thyself completely each day; do it again, and again, and forever again.
 ~Chinese inscription cited by Thoreau in Walden

wouldn't it be nice if there was more




27 July 2010

I saw the strangest thing yesterday. Perhaps it's not strange after all. Perhaps it's just me and my issues.  Perhaps I'm not trusting of people, or perhaps I'm too protective of the people I love, but I saw what one would only expect to see in Holland: something that I would never ever do. -and I say that because on one episode of Oprah she was in Holland, and she saw, outside of a yoga studio, 5 babies in strollers. By themselves. They were deposited there by their mothers who were inside, practicing yoga.

Maybe because I grew up in New York City and Racine, Wisconsin, where the only reason you would leave your baby outside in a stroller was because you didn't want them anymore--I would not have expected to see that in the States, but sure enough, I did.

At the crowded New Seasons store ( the competitor to Whole Foods) in SouthEast Portland, I saw 2 babies in strollers, right outside the escalator doors. People were entering and leaving, and I seemed to be the only one who thought it was strange. Is it me or is Portland ( or SouthEast Portland ) a different kind of city?

u've earned my affection

my affection
earned it.
knowing what you had to do
to prove that you were capable of loving me righteously

by not asking for it,
by not caring about
what I don’t have;
seeing past the rumours the misinterpretations misunderstandings
the lies
his lies her lies their lies
the lies of the world
lies that have been told so often that even I began to believe them
& feel them.
& act accordingly.
but you saw past them
not seeing what you want to see
you were suspecting,
somehow squeezing beauty out of
what I thought was ugly.
exposing what I didn’t know was inside me.

I have to admit to
ignoring you,
not feeling that I deserved your affection
but I learned to be obedient.

and who am I to be loved so righteously-
needing you the way Adam needed Eve
and who am I to be loved the way God meant for me to be loved

Only He knows.

(I’ll take

--alex george

song in my head today

Jody Watley's rendition of  'After You Who'  on the Red Hot + Blue: A Tribute To Cole Porter album originally issued in 1990, for AIDS relief:

26 July 2010

on actions speaking louder than words

               This is what I mean.... click here

Tell me something good


All things work together for the good of those that love the Lord and are called according to his purpose. Romans 8:28

While saving up money for a down payment for a car, I filed a complaint with the Better Business Bureau. I had paid a certain company over a thousand bucks last year for services not rendered, and when the  Better Business Bureau asked how I’d like the issue resolved, I stated that I wanted all my money back.
I expected resistence.
Within 24 hours, the head of the company left a voicemail, asking for my address so that he could send me a check for the full amount within 10 business days, and he asked me to please tell the Better Business Bureau that the issue has been resolved.
I got down on my knees immediately and thanked God. Then I called him back, gave him my address and told him I would notify the Better Business Bureau after the check has cleared!
I received the check 2 days later. It put me $1,400 ahead! I’m almost glad the company didn’t do what they were supposed to do last year!

some music to start the week

Time for something inspirational

The Lord is my light and my salvation; whom shall I fear? the Lord is the strength of my life; of whom shall I be afraid? 2 When the wicked, even mine enemies and my foes, came upon me to eat up my flesh, they stumbled and fell. 3 Though an host should encamp against me, my heart shall not fear: though war should rise against me, in this will I be confident. 4 One thing have I desired of the Lord, that will I seek after; that I may dwell in the house of the Lord all the days of my life, to behold the beauty of the Lord, and to inquire in his temple. 5 For in the time of trouble he shall hide me in his pavilion: in the secret of his tabernacle shall he hide me; he shall set me up upon a rock. 6 And now shall mine head be lifted up above mine enemies round about me: therefore will I offer in his tabernacle sacrifices of joy;  I will sing, yea, I will sing praises unto the Lord.   Psalm 27: 1-5

25 July 2010

                         The antidote for fifty enemies is one friend.  -Aristotle

                          I feel blessed because I  have a best friend, and some really good friends--friends that have had my back through the rough times. 
                                   Periodically, God reveals  my fairweather friends to me, either by their actions or their inactions. It's been more often as of late. And initially it bothers me, but once I think about it, I'm glad He does it.
                                   It's like He's telling me to stop  wasting my time hanging with  (insert name).  That (insert name) is not worth my time.

                                   I don't know about you, but  I don't want to waste a minute hanging with someone not worth my time. And I'm grateful for my friends, and for my best friend who has had that title, for more than half my life

23 July 2010

My weekend will arrive in...

18 minutes! !!

Flash Back Friday- SOS Band & Cheryl Lynn.

i have a dream

Did you hear what this guy did?

Perhaps there's  hope for me after all ! Today I posted 2 cell phones, an ipod touch, Sony CyberShot DSC-T500 digital camera, and a $250 tattoo certificate  to barter on Craigslist. I wonder if I can use them to get me  a house--

22 July 2010

We are all born for love. It is the principle of existence, and its only end.  -- Benjamin Disraeli



Every  morning I wake up and decide, "This is the day, the hour, the moment...that I will live right."

Living right =don't spend money
do a heavy workout
ignore rude people
avoid all things sugar
read my scriptures
post on my blog
be nice

I only did 3.
Oh well, there's always tomorrow.

Which 4 did I not do?

The President makes the call

*CNN is reporting that President Obama spoke to Shirley Sherrod on the phone moments ago.

The network says its news crew was with the ousted Agriculture Department official when the call came shortly after 12:30 p.m. EST, but Sherrod asked that cameras not film the conversation, according to anchor Ali Velshi.
Obama’s personal outreach comes several hours after Sherrod appeared on all three network morning news shows, as well as CNN and MSNBC’s “Morning Joe,” to discuss the fallout from an edited videotape that led to her forced resignation – and then to two public apologies Wednesday from the Department of Agriculture Secretary Tom Vilsack and the White House, via Press Secretary Robert Gibbs.
When asked this morning if she feels the president should also apologize, Sherrod said she would rather have a conversation with Obama about race, and about the needs of rural America.
“I’d like to talk to him a little bit about the experience of people like me, people at the grass roots level, people who live out there in rural America, people who live in the south,” she told “Today’s” Meredith Vieira. “I know he does not have that kind of experience. Let me help him a little bit with how we think, how we live, and the things that are happening.”
In the meantime, the office released a statement saying the president reached Sherrod by phone at 12:35 p.m. During the seven minute conversation, Obama apologized for the events of the last several days, and emphasized that Vilsack was sincere in his apology and his efforts to rid the USDA of discrimination.
Obama also expressed that this “misfortune” presents a unique opportunity for Sherrod to work even moreso on behalf of those in need.
The White House daily press briefing will take place at 1:30 p.m. today, where Gibbs is sure to provide further details about the phone call.

--courtesy eurweb.com

Flash Back Wednesday- Shannon & The System

21 July 2010

I tend to

  • get upset easily.
  • be nicer to people than they are to me.
  • offer to help people move and regret making the offer the second after I open my   mouth.
  • purge facebook friends if they don’t respond to messages but have been online every day                         since I left messages.
  • purge friends from my cell phone or email contact list if 2 months pass and they don’t  respond to  my       voicemails or emails.
  • add those friends back when they see and ask why they haven’t heard from me.
  •  convince myself of failure. And then I fail.
  •  buy books every pay period and have no time to read them.
  •  to eat something sweet at every meal.
  •  purge those same facebook friends for the same above reason.
  •  purge those friends from my cell phone or email contact list for the same above reason.
  •  add those friends back for the same above reason.
  •  not acknowledge the existence of people who have done me wrong  in the past.
  •  hate being stood up.
  •  hate when  people make the same mistakes over and over. and over and over.   
  •  appease my mom and no one else.
  •  treat people better than I know they would treat me.
  •  be shy with new people until i'm comfortable around them.
  • remember birthdays, anniversaries, and other events, even the birthdays of my exes. 
  •  be told by white people that I always look angry.
  •  surprise them by being the opposite of what they expect. 
  •  dread encountering people who don't know when to stop talking.
  •  sleep less during the week and too much during the weekends.
  •   avoid conversations in the morning until about an hour later, unless its work-related.
  •   have better come-backs, too late.
  •   start diets and only stick to them for a week.
  •   want to hear an entire story before offering an opinion.
  •   be shy with new people until i'm comfortable around them.
  •   convince myself of success. And then I succeed.
  •  hate going back to Racine to visit and wish my mom lived in Milwaukee or Madison.
  •  read people that are condescending to me.
  •  hold my opinions of friends' girlfriends until after they break up or divorce.                
  •  leave the gym immediately if I forgot my mp3 player
  • inform people when I've caught them in a lie.


Flashback Thursday- Loose Ends & Evelyn "Champagne" King

20 July 2010

i told u so

my mother is always impressed by my ability to cut people who have done me wrong out of my life permanently.  She said that Scorpios are like that. I’m able to forgive but I don’t believe in giving people the opportunity to  do me wrong over and over again. And over and over again. And over and over again. And over and over again, like she does. My sister, a scorpio also, is the same way as myself. 

once as a kid, I put my hands over a flame  on the stove and it burned my hand. Since I discovered that fire burns, I never did it again.

I came across this and thought it was too cute to pass it by

On integrity

"Make us to choose the harder right instead of the easier wrong, and never be content with a half truth when the whole can be won."

~Col. C. E. Wheat
                                   Never grow a wishbone, where your backbone ought to be.

                                              --Clementine Paddleford
We all carry within us our places of exile, our crimes, and our ravages. But our task is not to unleash them on the world; it is to fight them in ourselves and in others.

-- Albert Camus

I couldn't keep it to myself

Tony Toni Tone

 Diamonds are nothing more than chunks of coal that stuck to their jobs.
                                            --author unknown                          

Life is a wonderful gift that we’ve been given, but it is not always easy.  You will, at some point, have life pressures that will test your strength and will to succeed. Do not let life's trials make you give up on your goals and dreams! Past the test, press through and go to the next level of success.
' I believe I'm gonna press on, to see what the end's gonna be.'
 One of my mom's sayings...
It’s seems like in most success stories that I have read, breakthrough came right in the midst of the storm. So don’t let your emotions, people, and problems get the best of you!! You’re stronger than you think you are. My mother also always says 'there are people that are waiting for you to fail and people that are waiting for you to succeed'. Who are you going to prove right? It’s your choice; stay a piece of coal or become a diamond!

I know this is for someone out there besides my self.... I need to remember this from time to time.

19 July 2010

the reason

one day
i will convince the world i was meant to be here.

i am still here

I love:

 God, my family, friends, Mc Donalds coffee, love, Old school R & B, Prince, love, Janet Jackson, love, D’Angelo, Luther Vandross' A house is not a home, love, love, Dwele, Bjork, laughter, love, Jill Scott, love, Erykah Badu, love, Jimmy Jam &Terry Lewis, love, the weekends! love,cooking and baking for friends and family, love, wit, sarcasm, when my mother brags to any 1 who will listen about how good a son I am, love, individuality, love, confidence, love, good wine, the light scent of perfume on a woman, a smile,  love, intellectual conversations, people who speak up when they see something wrong or someone doing something wrong.love, sunshine, soaking in the hottub afer my workout, love, the sun shining on me, my wisconsin t shirts, sleeping in on rainy Saturday mornings with someone I loved, a romantic movie, black people in love, love, couples holding hands, love, a father spending quality time with his infant kids, love, the truth, the sound of my God Daughters voice, Project Runway (yeah, I do), text messages from my nephew after school, knowing that people will reap what they sow, love, nice people, love, laughing with someone at something funny, love, traveling, love, poetry, money, love, writers that make me think, dress shirts & ties, suits, jeans, attention.  and last but not the least, me.    oh, and of course, love. and love. and love. and love.

I was going to have this entry be about things I loved and hated, but I recalled at the beginning of the year stating that I was going to be all about love.

What do you love?

This is a repost- some things added or subtracted to fit today.

18 July 2010


                     I BLOG HERE AS WELL 

Practice, practice, practice!

I saw this on Meg's blog  and I couldn't pass it up without adding it to mine.  I'll think of it as another of the Notes To My Self:

Practice the PAUSE attitude!

when in doubt, pause;

when angry, pause;

when tired, pause;

when stressed, pause;

& when you pause,



Talking loud, saying nothing


 I pretend to not know something if it’s unimportant and if it helps make someone feel better about themselves by telling me.

common ground


Friendship Is Born At That Moment When One Person Says To Another, "What! You Too? I Thought I Was The Only One!"

                   -C S Lewis


17 July 2010

on selfishness



                     There are many things that we would throw away if we were not afraid that others might pick them up.

                                             --Oscar Wilde

16 July 2010

An audience of one


some 1
is doing something considered beautiful & thoughtful

for some1
4 no reason,
and not letting them know it’s being done.

Is it you?


This was composed about 5 minutes ago. It just popped in my head.  I don't know if I'm dictating it from God, and He's asking me to do something nice for someone today or if it was meant for someone else to see it and to do something nice for someone who might need it.  I don't know.


on humanity

Another flash back friday- Skyy & The Ohio Players

Flash Back Friday-The Gap Band & The Deele

15 July 2010

Before we set our hearts too much upon anything, let us examine how happy those are who already possess it.                               - Francois de La Rochefoucauld

Two Proverbs

 One generation plants the trees; another gets the shade.
                                                     – Chinese Proverb

                A society grows great when old men plant trees whose shade they know they shall never sit in 
                                                                     –Greek proverb
                       One word frees us of all the we├»ght and pain of life: That word is love.
                                                         – Sophocles, 496-406 B.C.

Time for some-- Andwele Gardner

What inspires Alieux?

God didn’t promise me that life would be easy, and me for it’s been everything but easy. But what inspires me the most is knowing that God is still on the throne regardless, and that as long as I’m patient and focused  on Him and on doing what’s right, that He  will bless me when He is ready for me to blessed.  I’ve been impatient before, and took matters in my own hands- to disastrous results. I’ve learned my lesson and He’s put me back on track. My job makes me happy. I work with and for the coolest people. My boss is the nicest boss I have ever had.   I’m also inspired by hearing dramas of friends of mine- dramas that make my life seem like I have more to be thankful for than I realize.  My short story ideas inspire me. At any given moment I have 4 stories in my head, begging to be written down. My poems inspire me, though I can’t write one unless I’m either very angry about something, or hurt, or in love.  Langston Hughes’, James  Baldwin’s and Toni Morrison's writings inspires me. e..e. cummings ‘ , Amiri Baraka’s,  Haki R.Madhubuti’s, Nikki  Giovanni’s,  Sonia Sanchez’s, Mari  Evans’, and Maya Angelou’s poetry inspires me. My best friend Steve inspires me.  My mother’s voice inspires me-My friend Brian calling to tell me my 4 yr old God-daughter wanted to say hello to me…that’s the best thing ever.
What inspires you?

12 July 2010

if love


by the time your gps locates               
and directs u towards me
I hope I will not b 2 exhausted
2 receive u
even though
will be greatly
preciated/ this

(my gps doesn't always give the right directions,


On today, July 12--


Frederick McKinley Jones was one of the most prolific Black inventors ever. Frederick Jones patented more than sixty inventions, however, he is best known for inventing an automatic refrigeration system for long-haul trucks in 1935 (a roof-mounted cooling device). Jones was the first person to invent a practical, mechanical refrigeration system for trucks and railroad cars, which eliminated the risk of food spoilage during long-distance shipping trips. The system was, in turn, adapted to a variety of other common carriers, including ships. Frederick Jones was issued the patent on July 12, 1940 (#2,303,857).
Frederick Jones also invented a self-starting gas engine and a series of devices for movie projectors: adapting silent movie projectors for talking films, and developing box office equipment that delivered tickets and gave change.     
courtesy, blackfacts.com & inventorsabout.com
I imagine one of the reasons people cling to their hate so stubbornly is because they sense, once hate is gone, they will be forced to deal with pain.   --James A. Baldwin
Eventually you will come to understand that love heals everything, and love is all there is.

                             -- Gary Zukav

1 John 4:20

10 July 2010

Listening to...

A Tribe Called Quest



God, take control of my steering wheel;
I’ll get out the driver’s seat.
I haven’t been driving well on my own;
Going up and down the wrong street.

And though I have a road map,
I still can’t find my way.
God, take control of my steering wheel,
I surrender to you today.

--God, Take Control of my Steering Wheel,  from the poetry collection Soultight,            written by AlexGeorge, aka Alieux Casey

09 July 2010

Time for some new Prince music (Cd not available in the US)

What rules do you live by?

Please and thank you; evil exists only as long as good people do nothing; eat as close to nature as possible; treat people like you'd want them to treat you; be careful what (or who) you despise, as you may have to rely on it (or them) later in life; the Ten Commandments ; the preservation of the irreplaceable ; my sanity

What rules do you live by?

On Today, July 9th

in 1893,  In July 1893 Dr Daniel H Williams, MD performed one of the first successful open-heart surgeries in the country, suturing the pericardium on a victim of a stab wound to the heart. President Grover Cleveland appointed Dr. Williams surgeon-in-chief at Freedman's Hospital in Washington from 1894 to 1898. During his career he was instrumental in the founding of the National Medical Association, the only professional organization of its day open to black physicians, and the American College of Surgeons.

In 1883, gained the distinction of becoming Northwestern's first African American medical graduate and medical school faculty member. A strong advocate for the education of African Americans in medicine and nursing and health care for the underserved, he founded Chicago's Provident Hospital, the country's first black-owned andoperated interracial medical institution, in 1891. He would later help found other such hospitals across the country.

Born in 1856 in Hollidaysburg, Pennsylvania, to free parents of European, Native American, and black heritage, he was apprenticed to a Baltimore shoemaker when he was 11 years old, after his father died of tuberculosis. A few months later, he ran away to Rockford, Illinois, where his mother and sisters had moved to be with family. By age 17 he was running his own barbershop in southern Wisconsin. At age 22 he began an apprenticeship with noted Civil Warsurgeon Henry Palmer, MD, followed by medical training at Chicago Medical College, later to become Northwestern University Feinberg School of Medicine.
Dr. Williams died on August 4, 1931, at age 75. On September 9, 2004, the medical school celebrated the dedication of its 182-seat Daniel Hale Williams Auditorium in the McGaw Pavilion named in honor of the school's first African American graduate.

and on the same day,
in 1955,  E. Frederic Morrow was the first African American to serve in an executive position on a president’s staff at the White House. Morrow was a minister’s son who had graduated from Bowdoin College and was employed by the National Urban League and the NAACP before entering Army service during World War II. After the war, he obtained a law degree from Rutgers University and worked for the public affairs division at CBS. He was an adviser on business affairs in the Commerce Department before joining Eisenhower’s staff as Administrative Officer for Special Projects from 1955 to 1961. As the sole African American on a staff dealing with racial tensions related to integration, Morrow faced difficult personal and professional struggles at the White House. The Supreme Court’s landmark Brown v. the Board of Education ruling, the Montgomery bus boycott, and the Little Rock crisis were the backdrop for Morrow’s White House years. On a staff with a civil-rights policy that was at best cautious, Morrow was often frustrated and angered. He lived at a time when qualified African Americans were excluded from high-level political positions. Morrow as a black "first" found relations within the president’s "official family" to be "correct in conduct, but cold." He published his autobiography, Black Man in the White House, in 1963 leaving a valuable account of his experience as a black man working in the president’s inner circle, including his disappointment with the indecision of Eisenhower’s civil rights policy.    -- courtesy, google.com and blackfacts.com

Someone is a wee bit upset

  About Lebron's  business decision to go “bring his talents to South Beach”.

 Cleveland Cavaliers owner Dan Gilbert  posted this irade last night on the Cavs blog:

                 " Dear Cleveland, All Of Northeast Ohio and Cleveland Cavaliers Supporters Wherever You May Be Tonight; As you now know, our former hero, who grew up in the very region that he deserted this evening, is no longer a Cleveland Cavalier.
This was announced with a several day, narcissistic, self-promotional build-up culminating with a national TV special of his “decision” unlike anything ever “witnessed” in the history of sports and probably the history of entertainment.
Clearly, this is bitterly disappointing to all of us.The good news is that the ownership team and the rest of the hard-working, loyal, and driven staff over here at your hometown Cavaliers have not betrayed you nor NEVER will betray you.
There is so much more to tell you about the events of the recent past and our more than exciting future. Over the next several days and weeks, we will be communicating much of that to you.
You simply don’t deserve this kind of cowardly betrayal.You have given so much and deserve so much more.
In the meantime, I want to make one statement to you tonight:
You can take it to the bank.
If you thought we were motivated before tonight to bring the hardware to Cleveland, I can tell you that this shameful display of selfishness and betrayal by one of our very own has shifted our “motivation” to previously unknown and previously never experienced levels.
Some people think they should go to heaven but NOT have to die to get there.
Sorry, but that’s simply not how it works. This shocking act of disloyalty from our home grown “chosen one” sends the exact opposite lesson of what we would want our children to learn. And “who” we would want them to grow-up to become.
But the good news is that this heartless and callous action can only serve as the antidote to the so-called “curse” on Cleveland, Ohio.
The self-declared former “King” will be taking the “curse” with him down south. And until he does “right” by Cleveland and Ohio, James (and the town where he plays) will unfortunately own this dreaded spell and bad karma.
Just watch.
Sleep well, Cleveland.
Tomorrow is a new and much brighter day….
I PROMISE you that our energy, focus, capital, knowledge and experience will be directed at one thing and one thing only:
DELIVERING YOU the championship you have long deserved and is long overdue….

Dan Gilbert
Majority Owner
Cleveland Cavaliers  "

I don't know about you, but I appreciate the fact that Lebron wasn't following the money. If that was the case, he would have stayed with the Cavaliers. Does anyone question whether he would trade any of his players if it meant winning a championship faster or making more money?


Lebron lands in Miami

Like Don @ http://www.minusthebars.blogspot.com/  says, The NBA just became a two-team league: Heat vs Lakers

Another flash back friday- Barry White & Boz Scaggs


We may encounter many defeats but we must not be defeated
                                      --Maya Angelou

Flash Back Friday- George Clinton & Earth Wind & Fire

the IT

      click here

I will persist until I succeed

  • Scroll I - Today I begin a new life. 
  • Scroll II - I will greet this day with love in my heart. 
  • Scroll III - I will persist until I succeed.
  •  Scroll IV - I am nature's greatest miracle. 
  • Scroll V - I will live this day as if it is my last. 
  • Scroll VI - Today I will be master of my emotions. 
  • Scroll VII - I will laugh at the world (Keep perspective)  
  • Scroll VIII - Today I will multiply my value a hundredfold.  
  • Scroll IX - I will act now, I will act now, I will act now.  
  • Scroll X - I will pray for guidance.
                                 --from The Greatest Salesman In the World,  written by Augustine "Og" Mandino II.                    
A friend recently gave me this book to read.
In the book, In Scroll IX, the phrase I will act now is written 18 times. The author recognized that all successful people take on their own lives by "charting" or consciously choosing both the desired destination and the path to reach it. Mandino's philosophical messages have Christian undertones. They are encouragements to build good habits, to live according to the laws that govern abundance and to find a vigor and joy in life as we learn to stand at the helm of our ship charting its course into the safety of the harbor instead of just waiting for someone else to bring it in.

I know, it sounds like I'm preaching to the choir, but I needed this book.


08 July 2010


i love the summertime


on perseverance

    It always seems impossible until its done.
                      --Nelson Mandela
When things go silent, freeze and take in the extraordinary beauty that such a world can instill. This summer has been a long time coming. It has been/is about me learning stillness. I wouldnt trade it for anything.

How did I get here?

What made me decide to start a blog of my own?

I have to give credit to a friend who ironically, is no longer a friend. I used to always send her and other co-workers Bible scriptures or other inspirational quotes to fit their situation. I like how I feel when people send me encouraging words and so I try to do the same. Sometimes I think that perhaps that is my calling- to be the go to person for all things encouraging. But I have to admit that my attitude is based on the environment in which I was raised.
I was brought up in a Christian household, and one of my mother’s favorite sayings is “you reap what you sow.” She also informed my sister and myself, on many, many occasions, that God, being omnipresent, was watching us at all times even when she couldn’t. So, as a child I was always aware that I was being watched by God (if I my mother wasn’t around). I was also literally afraid to do anyone wrong and I decided to be as accommodating and as kind to people as I can possibly be, without being a doormat. I’ve always wanted good things to happen to me. My mother also says that when she dies, she would like for God to say to her, “well done, my good and faithful servant.” I want that as well. That’s why I have that Bible verse on my arm as a tattoo.
My first blog entry, titled “Start Anew” was based on the final episode of the first season of True Blood. Tara had told a mysterious social worker that she probably lost her job, all of her friends and that her mother disowned her, and that she had failed to see ‘this as an opportunity to start anew’ and the social worker said something that really stuck out in my mind. She said that ‘maybe life has cleared out all the things that weren’t working for her.’ I don’t think it’s life that does that. I think it’s God. I know it’s God. I prefer to think that it's God who clears out things that aren't working for me.
My first blog also mentions a sermon that my mother’s pastor preached. I called it The Prayer of Mathematics. I still recite it:

"Dear Lord,

Please subtract from my life, people who either don’t mean me well, or will prevent me in some way, from being who You and I want me to be, and to please add to my life, people who mean me well, and who will help me to be who You and I want me to be."

That was what I had initially wanted my blog to be about, loving oneself , having peace of mind, knowing who has your back and who doesn't, and accepting that bad things will happen in our lives, but if we keep the faith, it will all work out in the end. After the second entry though, I thought I should shut down the blog altogether. Another friend of mine said that the two entries sounded a bit preachy, which might turn people off. I do love God and I am proud of that, and I didn't want people to be turned off by what I had to say, so I stopped blogging. Then, a month later, that friend who encouraged me to blog, asked me why I had stopped. She said that she expected to read something inspirational and was disappointed to see that I hadn't written anything in a while. I was convinced that at least 2 people appreciated the things I liked to write about, so a month later, I began blogging again. This time it would be more than my love of God and how to be more effective. It would be about the human condition; love and life, my poetry, excerpts of my short stories, music, things important in black history, and the people and things I find to be beautiful. Those things lacking in my life, those things people (myself included) take for granted, the funny or stupid or racist things said to me or overheard, my attempts at political satire, and those things that are beautiful in general, like nature, the black family, the love a father has for his kids and the quality time he spends with them,  black women and children, people who were raised in single-parent homes and the parents who raised them, the things my father taught me by not being around, the things my mom and my grandfather taught me by always being around, etc,. My mother knows nothing about the internet, but if she came across my blog, I'd want her to like what she saw and read. If my 14 yr old nephew came across it, I'd want it to be something that I wouldn't be ashamed for him to have read. I wanted, and still do want, it to be like my personality. I want it to be spiritual, funny, sarcastic, respectful, humble, inspirational, newsworthy, insightful, and worth reading. And 999 entries later, like how I relate to new people, I always hope that in my absence, people are saying, "Alieux is a good/funny/sweet/smart/cool (fill in the blanks) guy, and he's a Christian. We need to invite him to hang with us more-" I want people to like what I have to say.

Thanks for reading!

05 July 2010

The Thinker

The Thinker, by Auguste Rodin

                                     “To avoid criticism say nothing, do nothing, be nothing.”
                                                                            — Aristotle
this is a repost